What You Ate Today

I could give you what I ate last month on the third if you really wanted to know. I’m pedantic about what I eat, when I eat, where I eat, etc.; it’s one of the many quirks and coping mechanisms I use to get through my day. Think Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang theory except I’m not even half as smart as he is.

So today is a Sunday, that means I had the same thing I have every Sunday.

For breakfast I make a large batch of tomato basil fritatta, it can feed four comfortably, so I can eat it for 4 days - a week if I alternate with straight up bacon and eggs.

For lunch, Sunday brings, grilled chicken salad on rye. I use more avocado than mayo, but I do use some. I always have the salad on hand, and it’s one of the few times I actually eat bread except for when I go out.

Sunday dinner is by far my favorite thing to eat and cook - steak and roasted seasonal vegetables. I don’t make it the same way every single time. It depends on my mood, but it’s always the same type of food. I get anxious if I switch things up too much. Change is a difficult thing to master when your anxiety is triggered by small inconsistencies to regular patterns.

There are always exceptions to the rule which can cause big panic attacks or little ones - really depends how on the fly they are. However I do forget to eat on a regular basis and that oddly doesn’t affect things.

Your Parents

My parents were never around for me. My mother left me to the Venatori at the tender age of 5 and I didn’t know who my father was until I was 18 years old. But here’s the horrid tale of my parentage.

My father is the renowned Venatori hunter, Kai Viddens. He is the oldest living Viddens in that family’s ruling line. He holds a seat on the Imperordo and is one of the so-called law makers of our community. He took the job when his father passed - yet another tale of horror to regale at a later date.

My father traveled as a hunter, he went around the world when he was younger, now he chooses to stay in New York City, but he once traveled to Boulder, Colorado where he met the lovely hunter Leanna Sétanta.

Kai was a man of inhibition. He did what he wanted and who he wanted. Leanna was nothing more than a mark on his headboard, so when she became pregnant it was nothing to him, and she never even thought about telling him about it. She didn’t know the consequences of his actions because little did Kai know that Leanna was human. He had assumed she was Venatori and there was no issues. His assumption could have cost her life, but in our case, it did not. Both myself and my mother survived gestation and labor. Something the female human body is not likely to do except for in special circumstances.

My mother raised me as would be expected of any venatori hunter - under the tutelage of a nanny while she was out hunting. I won’t get into the details of my abandonment. Instead, let’s focus on the retelling of the first time my parents meet me at the same time, in the same room, nineteen years and several months after they conceived me.

It was May of 2012, four months before I turned nineteen when I found out who my father was. I was forced to have dinner with both my parents. I will admit forced is a strong word, nothing would have happened except extreme disappoint of the only two people I cared about impressing in my life - Dae’lin Rivera, my mentor, and Dorian Vega, my guidance counselor of sorts. Dae’lin handled my actual teaching, Dorian the direction of my studies and the success of those studies. He was the one who gave me my proficiency tests among many other students.

They both insisted I see my parents, together and pretend we were a family before my Ad Aetatam - my right of passage to become an adult. It was a prelude to the ridiculous ceremony that would happen the next day - the first of my trials. I will say I failed miserably at impressing my parents.

My mother only had eyes for my father. And my father only had a vague disinterest in me. And I think that was only so as my mother would shut her yap. The dinner was supposed to be at some fancy joint, but what my mother considered fancy and what I did were two completely different things. She apparently hadn’t asked anyone to choose the appropriate words or location for her meeting with the two disassociated men in her life.

I wore the only suit I owned and the blood red tie that broke up the black of the outfit. I felt good about my dress, impressive yet not so over the top that I looked outrageously overdressed - a classic look with a bold color. I impressed the waitress and the busboy. Granted I already knew them so it wasn’t hard.

As I said my mother never stopped talking, it was always about the good-ole-days and the reliving them with Kai. But my lack of lightning quick reflexes and the use of my so-called magic brought me into Kai’s immediate curiosity. We talked, got to know each other a little bit. Rather he asked me a lot of questions while I attempted to flirt with both the waitress and the nearby busboy.

My mother caught on to my flirting with the bus boy and scolded me for my flaunting my sexuality in front of her and the world. I hadn’t done anything overt, it only cemented my disdain towards her. Even if I hadn’t been dangerous she’d have disliked my life choices - the way I was wired. She could go f@#k herself.

My father didn’t seem to mind, or care. I knew he had his own opinions about my sexuality and the impression I made on his youngest son. But we won’t go there today. Needless to say, I wasn’t the only one of Kai’s sons who liked the same sex.

Dinner ended and we all went our separate ways. We saw each other again a few hours later when I went through my rite of passage and then we never graced the same room again all three of us together - and we never will as my mother passed shortly thereafter.

Your First Love

I have never been in love. I’ve never had a relationship last long enough to ever get past lust. I don’t think I have any passions I would consider a love either.

A first love should be something that consumes you to the point of nothing else. I have never felt anything like that in my life - unless of course you consider my ego. But I don’t think I’m a narcissist, at least, I hope I’m not. I may joke about such things, but I honestly don’t think I’m all that.

I will take that back, I did have an all-consuming love at one point in my life. I was very young and naive. This woman was my everything. She gave me life. Gave me everything I could ever need. Not everything I wanted, but everything I needed. She could do no wrong.

But as with all first loves that changed in a moment so swift and sudden, I still reel from it today. The idea that someone’s complete love could be ripped from you so suddenly and without warning rattles my soul.

My mother wasn’t around a lot when I was young, but I knew she loved me, cared for me and that I was worth something to her. I was eager to see her when she’d return. I loved to sit and listen to her stories. But the day I sparked… the day my magic put her life in danger, it all ended.

My mother had a rough start to life as well. Her family was obliterated by a rogue werewolf. The Venatori hunter who saved her took her home and the Venatori gave her a home and helped her through her tragic loss. They gave her life and purpose, and in return, she gave them the best years of her life. She hunted for them.

But in their care and help, they made her afraid of the supernatural. They made her leery of anything and all things unpredictable. And what is more, unpredicatable than a 5-year old who can start fires with a mere thought. I was untrained; I didn’t know any better and I had been afraid. My mother had a temper, but she loved me and only got angry when I did things wrong. It was a five-year old’s naivety, but it was my truth.

She ripped that truth from me and left me with a stranger. She packed me up on a plane, drugged me as I kicked and screamed so I would be quiet. Yeah, I have mommy issues. That’s why there has been no first love for me - everyone leaves. There is no security in others, only in myself. But that doesn’t stop the loneliness.

Introduce Yourself

Introduce myself? Who am I introducing myself to, because it matters in which fashion I would do it? Living a sharded life is easy to keep straight if you know exactly who you are talking to. Thankfully that’s a fairly easy assumption for me to make. In a Venatori compound, my name is Nox Sétanta and I am a hunter. To the real world, to everyone else who is not privy to the world I live in, my name is Nox. I’m a good-for-nothing kid who fancies himself a private investigator of sorts. At least, that’s what I tell my human friends what I do. It’s the closest thing that comes to the full truth of the matter.

I hunt monsters for a living.

I am half human, half Venatori living in the world of the supernatural. You all think the things that go bump in the night are myths and legends but what you don’t realize is there is truth in those stories. Vampires hunt the darkness. Men that turn into wolves on the full moon and then back again, all very true. But the stores never get it fully right, our world is hidden for a reason, we keep our secrets hidden so the full truth of the matter is unknown to the fragile race called human.

I’d tell you about my family if I actually had one. I mean I was born to a mother, and of a father who I am just not starting to get to know. They all have their families, but neither are mine. I grew up under the ever-watchful eye of the Venatori community. Raised by the whole because I was an unwanted child or so I had thought most of my life and it was only half true - had my father known about me I would have been part of his family for better or worse. But such was not the case.

My youth was plagued with disdain and accomplishments. I was an improbable child even from birth. Born to a mother who was human and who survived my birth - a near impossible task. I was guaranteed to be born Magnus. I sparked at the age of 5 - lit the curtains on fire out of fear. My mother promptly discarded me in Venatori care until I was 18 where she was oh so very proud of her son. At the age of 10, I wielded all four elements at the same time with ease to create a monument of my accomplishments. A feat I’m told is rare and named me Cesari. I was a Master Magnus by the age of 18 and one of the youngest ever to be named such.

My accomplishments made me a target for dislike, but my attitude didn’t help matters any. I had one friend in school, but even that wasn’t a willing interaction at first. But he is and will forever be my best friend and brother. Jace got me through an unprecedented amount of problems while creating completely different ones for me all at the same time.

I graduated third in my class for all my efforts not to shine.

Since graduation I have hunted all sorts of monsters, some leaving me wonderful gifts of scars to tell to would be lovers and acquaintances. Regaling a tale about ghosts or dragons to the Venatori would be fun if it weren’t a common thing. But I enjoy the stories the humans get to hear the best the ones where the old flames lash out with knives and flamethrowers made of hair spray cans and lighters.

So introduce myself I can, just tell me which man you want to know - the liar or the one you wouldn’t believe if he told you the truth.

Finished NaNoWriMo

For once in the ten plus years I have actually finished NaNoWriMo. I managed to get 50K with 12 days left. All before vacation, I’m proud of myself.

The story isn’t finished, but now I don’t have to crack down on word count. I can write as normal and do my research as normal. Now I won’t feel guilty making notes for the next story or thinking about how it’s going to affect the next story.